The Daily Mash take on Postal Voting, Vote Rigging and Tactical Voting.
THE Labour Party has urged its vote riggers in key marginal seats to make it look as if quite a lot of fictional people have voted Liberal Democrat.
With polling just two days away, senior Labour figures said the postal votes of people who don’t exist should be used to stop the Tories, but not in the sort of really obvious way that even a British policeman would notice.
One source said: “As we enter the jiggery-pokery stage, it is vital that fictitious Lib Dem voters use their non-existent heads instead of their imaginary hearts.
This is how democracy has been broken by Labour in the UK. Voters intimidated, Press beaten up, you name it, it is going on.
Abuse of the Postal Vote system is now widespread and is now affecting our democratic process. It is time to rollback Postal Voting to those who really require it beacuse of diability, infirmity or work-related absence.
The willy-nilly use of Postal Voting not only allows these sort of illegalities but also means that any chance of a Secret Ballot is removed from many voters.
We have now become a third world nation under the Labour Government and we have allowed our voting system to become third rate as well.
If the intention was to supplant Michael Howard as Guinness record-holder for Most Humiliatingly Prevaricative Paxo Stuffing it was a close thing. If he wished to demonstrate why his leadership would kill Labour as an electoral force for 15 years, if not for ever, there he unquestionably succeeded.
Cocky, fake, slimy, inelegant, ineloquent, charmless, witless, weird, sinister, glacially cold and luminescently remote, he may be the most chillingly repulsive politician of even this golden generation. If Pixar set out to create a CGI character to embody everything the public has learned to despise about its political class, they’d be thrilled to come up with this lizardy schemer, who may have slipped through a tear in the fabric of space-time himself. Certainly he seems best suited to skulking beneath stone archways, in a purple robe, sibilantly sidling poison into the bloodstream of the medieval Vatican.
For a decade and more, this greyest of eminences has stirred, fixed, briefed and bullied, first to remove Mr Tony Blair; and latterly in the cause – keeping his master in power – that has pushed his party to the edge of the abyss. If he has a political philosophy, it is the domineering, top-down, we-know-best, infantilising statism of Gordon himself, but it’s not really about that. For Mr Balls, it is football thug tribalism – a with-us-or-against-us Manichean sensibility next to which Mrs Thatcher seems a proto-Cleggian champion of consensus.
